Author: Kerry Heavens
Reviewer: Tammy @tammyvoiced
Genre: Romantic Comedy
Length: 400 pages
Rating: 5 stars
I mean, have you seen him???
His dark good looks and tattooed muscled perfection are too much.
He’s hot. Lickably hot.
And he has a way with words that leaves me breathless.
But cocky doesn’t even cover it, this guy is so arrogant you have to fight back.
But God he’s so lickable!
The thing is though, he looks like sex but he’ll taste like jackass.
@OMGJazzyP is a sexy, annoying ball of rage in fuck-me heels and she hates me.
Although her nipples would tend to disagree.
It’s a deadly combination.
She’s a princess.
And when I say princess, I mean intolerable, spoiled brat with a tiara.
Sure she’s got that curvaceous goddess thing going on, but that mouth of hers…
God it needs something in it to shut it up.
This is not your average British romance.
It’s a tale of high heels, hot tattooed bad boys and sex oranges, all wrapped up in a coating of chocolate.
It’s ‘love’ in a social media world, where not everyone is who they seem and where some people’s bios should carry a warning.
I am asking myself why I waited so long to read anything by Kerry Heavens.
1st, her writing is smooth and neat. 2nd, Hello England! My Anglophile self was ah-hem in Heaven, she used one of my favorite English terms; Tickety Boo!
Spencer was so fun to read! The banter between Jazz & Spencer is so smooth and hilarious. It is one-liner after another that make you wish that you were that quick on your feet.
Spencer is as self-loving as one can get! He has it all going on and knows it. He definitely has some fans that want the “Spencer experience” and he is more than willingly to give it to them until “ShoeGirl” comes into play. He does not know what she looks like or if she is even a girl but he is drawn to her. Good ol’ Twitter is at it again.
Jazz is you guessed it, ShoeGirl, but will not reveal herself to Spencer because as fate would have it, they end up getting to know each other and she finds him to be an ass outside of Twitter. She likes that he does not know who she is and continues to have a relationship with him through DMs. They have some pretty steamy sexting going on.
One little oversight and her cover is blown. This just really means it is game on especially for Spencer
They try to convince themselves that when face to face that they cannot stand each other but you can see their growing attraction to each other. Points are made to seek each other out and that is easy since Spencer’s new job just happens to be at the house Jazz is staying at. They even continue their Twitter life as a way to communicate and one up each other.
The tension of course leads to a lot of sex. Chocolate Sex. Jacuzzi Sex. Pool Table Sex. I might have told you some the places but you will need to read to have the experience. It is quite a lascivious experience. It was refreshingly not repetitive in description as it can often happen with several sex scenes happening in a read. Kerry has these play out so well with her writing that you will get hot under the collar and become envious of Jazz.
Of course there is going to be drama. It is just the right amount to make the story keep its pace. You start cheering for them to see what is in front of them. You just want to reach in and knock their heads together. I cannot go into too much detail, because that would be telling. They are miserable is something that I can say and what plays out especially from Spencer, is endearing and you will literally go “awwwww!” But you really need to find out what that “awwwww!” is.
You will not read one “I Love You” in this read – which for me was great (we see so much of that). What you do find is some great banter, great sex, great friends that you want to have tea with, and a great “picture perfect” ending.
The sight and smell that greets me is just the same as it was yesterday. Bowls and utensils everywhere; and an incredible smell of chocolate and trays with neat lines of rolled truffles. Except today, I notice it.
How did I miss all this crap yesterday, chocolate usually comes above everything!
Oh, but yesterday I was on a mission.
Drooling, I head around the counter and pick up a ball of chocolate from one of the trays, savouring it as the flavours explode in my mouth. Dark chocolate with some kind of boozy fruit flavour. God, it’s good.
And she did this?
A woman who looks like her, thinks like her, wears those shoes, gives me shit and makes stuff like this, is a danger.
If I had a heart, I’d be falling in love.
I come to a big bowl of soft looking chocolate goo with a spatula sitting in it. I dip my finger in the gooey goodness and lift it to my mouth.
Holy hell! That is fucking amazing. It’s ginger and dark chocolate with some alcohol. Damn. I want to put my face in the bowl. I glance around, then shrug. Lifting the spatula out, with a decent scoop, I lean against the counter and take a good long lick.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she barks as she comes into the kitchen.
“Just having a taste, Princess,” I reply, turning to let her see me take another lick.
She storms over, trying to grab the spatula out of my hand. Good luck with that sweetheart, this is me and chocolate. You ain’t getting it back.
“You can’t just wander in here whenever you feel like it.”
“The door was open.”
“Give that back!” she demands, catching hold of it. For a second we both pull at it, but then I see an opportunity and let go. Chocolate splatters her face, neck and chest and stops her dead in her tracks.
I choke on a laugh.
She looks at me, mouth open, “You did that on purpose!”
She glances down at the mess on her chest and my eyes follow, locking in on her begging nipples, visible through her dress. She looks embarrassed.
“It’s ok, Princess, I know they like me even if you don’t. Happens whenever I’m around.”
“It does not!”
I step closer. She backs off, but I catch her arm and pull her close.
“What are you doing?” she gasps.
“I don’t waste chocolate,” I reply softly and then lean in and swipe my tongue over her temple.
She wriggles, but it’s a weak effort. “Get off me,” she demands.
“Hold still, Princess, it’s all over you.” I take another lick at her cheek and move down to her neck.
“Ok, that’s enough,” she snaps, her breath catching in her throat as I suck in her earlobe.
I lick her neck just below her ear even though there’s no chocolate there and the way her head falls slightly back in surrender makes me swallow hard. “It’s never enough,” I murmur.
What the fuck?
I shake the sappy shit out of my head before I grow a vagina, and pluck the spatula out of her hand, painting a trail down her cleavage. Dropping the spatula on the floor, I grab her by the arse and lift her
so that I can lick it all off. She yelps and struggles and I plonk her down on the kitchen counter, leaning forward and feasting on the stripe I painted between her breasts. Her dress is ruined, shame, I quite liked it.
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Sex toy salesperson
Fancier of nice men
Ok, fancier of almost all men
Awesome cupcake baker